Leadership Can Feel Like a Lonely Island

My dad told me for years that leadership can be really lonely when you're pouring into others. It reminds me of Moses leading the Israelites. 

You know me- always sharing the messy middle, showing my cards, and challenging you with an invite to learn right along with me. God didn't make us for isolation- that's where the enemy wants us. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:34

Welcome to the High Level Life Podcast. This is Chelsea Holm, your hostess. And here we do Marriage God's way. Welcome back. And I'm recording this from my car again. If you missed why, you can go back to the last episode and listen to that kickoff. Um but what I wanted to talk about today was just this idea of leadership and how when you're in leadership, when you're in ministry to the Lord, um it can be a very lonely place. I remember my dad saying this for years, um, that leadership can be a very lonely place. And I didn't understand what he meant in that. And until being in leadership, and actually as I look back over my life, I found myself in this position quite a bit where I've always um I've always been drawn to those who are older and wiser than me. And you know, like I was always the kid when I was younger that I always had older friends because I don't know if that means my maturity was just naturally higher. I don't I don't know, but I I've always been that kind of like old soul that um you know, if this is resonating with you, you totally get it. If it's not, you're not gonna get it at all. And that's okay again. Uh you know, and so I've always there in many seasons in many capacities, I have been poured into so richly, so deeply, so much wisdom shared with me that I then have opportunities to pour that wisdom out to others, to be in positions of leadership where I have people looking to me for guidance and direction. And um, you know, and and that's that's an interesting place to be because it's so easy to walk in our flesh in that and to do it for for your own glory. And I'll be honest, like there have been seasons in the past where I did that, right? Like it was like a a stroking of my own ego of like these people are listening to me, probably more so in the business capacity, but um like and I've seen this not just in myself, but I've seen this like even within, you know, like the network marketing company that I am partnered with that I've done for 13, 14 years now, um, is that you you see this trend of spotlight hoppers, right? Where people they they want to be in the spotlight for for the glory. Um, but once that spotlight fades and you you need to continue like implementing, right? Implementation of the wisdom that you have, right? Of the knowledge that you have, right? Wisdom is learning is understanding, like to navigate that, right? Knowledge is just is what you know, right? Is information. Wisdom is really how do you apply that in the discernment of applying of applying that knowledge, right? And we do that in like being rooted in the Lord, right? Because wisdom doesn't isn't necessarily knowledge in the sense of understanding, right? Because a lot of how the Lord moves doesn't necessarily make sense to the world, right? And so anyway, so I I've seen that and you know, and there's been seasons where I've thought that glory for myself, that spotlight, and struggled in the seasons of not being in that. And this is an area where um the Lord really did a lot of a lot of pruning and preparation um and um just refinement, a lot of punching in the face in the best way for me to be able to lead for his glory and his glory alone, to work for his glory and not the praise of man, right? Work hardly for the Lord and and not to please men. And um so through that, you know, through all of the aspects of this journey, a lot of times I look to uh Moses uh and just how he led. Because I think for Moses, what we see is you know, someone who who was leading an entire people, right? Who was hearing directly from the Lord, um, and who had such a heart posture for doing it in a way that was all about the Lord and not himself. And like he got he was in the Lord's presence, and you know, but like how how lonely was that at the same time, like in a community body of Christ way, right? Because he had he had fellowship with God himself, so he was like filled so much so that his countenance shone and they asked him to cover his face because it was freaking them out, right? Like, but I think Moses exemplifies this um loneliness often felt in leadership, and um, you know, at when you're when the Lord is having you pour what he's teaching you because he's humbled you, because he's taught you all of the things that you once sought your own own glory, and he has now refined you to glorify him. You know, it can be a lonely place of like who is challenging you, who is pouring into you, who is encouraging you. It's like in the military, right? Like chain of command, if you're familiar with army things, you know, you you always you always take your complaints up, right? And you have to follow the change of chain of command. You don't complain down, right? And and you it it leadership within I think ministry in the body of Christ, also the same, right? But that but then like as you grow and as you oh what's well I'm trying to like phrase this in a way that like you know, like think of Paul. I was thinking about this too. I was thinking about Paul, right? Like Paul, and I was thinking about John the Baptist. Like John the Baptist was like in the wilderness by himself wearing camel's hair and eating locusts right, and Paul was in prison more often than not. Like, think about like the loneliness and the isolation of that. Um, and yet, you know, he had um, you know, he had this community that were that was supporting him. Um but the most important part was that fellowship with the Lord, that submission to the Lord. Um, and so I was thinking about that, and you know, we should always have we should always have the people that we're pouring into, right? Our ministry of how God is using us to be his mouthpiece, to share his wisdom, to bring truth, to show love, to care for his flock and show mercy. We need but but we but we we need to understand that God did not create us to be on an island when we're in leadership. He created us to have um people who are speaking truth to us, who are holding us accountable. And even more than that, like that's good, right? But even more than that, we need people who are going to encourage us, who we can share our true struggles and part with, who are going to lift our weary arms. And um, and so this is this has been something that I've kind of been struggling with this week. Um, in that, like, you know, I'm at in ministry, I'm I'm pouring out on these women every week, and that is that is so fulfilling in and of itself. And you know, walking with the Lord in order to even do that, because there have been times where I tried to lean on my own understanding or um my own just what have you, and totally no, it doesn't work that way. Like when you're doing the Lord's work, leaning on your own strength and and your own understanding, it just doesn't work, it just falls flat and it's just not fruitful, right? And so having these people who you can go up to, right? The Lord, yes, first and foremost, but having people, a fellowship, a community of believers that are going to call you out and call you higher, but even more importantly than that, are going to you know bring the word to you and keep you in alignment with it, and also we're going to encourage you and love you and show you mercy and grace and understanding in a way that honors the Lord so richly. And so this is something that I've been thinking about, you know, with with that whole concept of like leadership can be very lonely. And if you find yourself, which hopefully you do find yourself in leadership in some capacity, because we all have influence over someone or something, right? It's it's what are we doing with it? But that you would recognize the the need and the importance of having um these different types of community around you, right? The community first that you pour into that God has called you to share the testimony that He has developed in you and now is deploying through you, right, for the good and saving of many. And then also to have these um this community of believers around you who will encourage you, who will work side by side with you, and then also having one or two believers, right? Three, I don't know, that will hold you accountable, that will call you higher. Um, but we'll do it with so much love and so much grace, and we'll do it with the word of God at the forefront, not a I think or a I feel, but uh this is what God's this is God's heart, right? And um this isn't a blind spot kind of thing. I think marriage itself has a beautiful opportunity of this because marriage itself net like gives you this ground zero of a husband and a wife walking in partnership with the Holy Spirit to reveal blind spots to each other, right? Iron sharpens iron, so man, so one man sharpens another. Right, it's like it's that ground zero of that. And so I bring this to you to challenge you which of these three areas, I mean, look at Jesus himself, right? Like he he was one with the father, he walked with the father first and foremost. That always has to be first and foremost. That's part of the order. God has to be first and foremost. Foremost, yeah. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind. That is the first and greatest command, right? Everything else flows from that. But then looking at your community, these different circles, like Jesus himself, he had his three closest friends, right? Peter, John, and who? Mary. So, right, I don't know. Anyway, it doesn't matter. Um, but then he had he had his 12 disciples as well, right? And so it was these um is a little different because it was Jesus, right? Like people weren't holding him accountable, he was bringing the truth and the love. Um, but we as humans are not Jesus, and we need these innermost three to call us out and call us higher and bring this encouragement through the lens of God's word and aligning with God's heart always being the thing, right? And then we need this like outer circle, if you will, of those that we're working alongside, those that we're doing ministry with, those that are, you know, lifting our arms and we're encouraging each other. Uh, and then we have this greater ministry circle of where we are pouring out what the Lord is calling us to do, and to never get to this point where we feel like we're on our own island, to always, always bow in humility to the fact that God created us for fellowship, to be a community of believers, of one body, right, as the temple, being built together as a temple of God, and to not allow the busy busyness to become um the wheels on the vehicle of isolation, because nothing good happens in isolation right now. That said, I would say isolation as a withdrawal mechanism in becoming your own echo chamber, in um not having someone challenging you or speaking truth to you, being able to see your blind spots, right? I'm not I'm I'm I'm talking about that form of isolation, not in how Jesus intentionally went away in isolation to be with the Father. Because again, right order, that's first and foremost. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind. Everything else flows from that. And so I just want to leave you with this challenge to take an audit and an accountability of who are in your three different circles here. And first and foremost, is God truly above all in your life where everything is you're being filled from to overflow everywhere else? And then once you take that audit, look at those three circles, right? Your closest three, your inner, then like your 12, and then those you're ministering to. And are there any areas where you have withdrawn and you have isolated, and God is revealing to you to make sure that you're not continuing in that because that's where the enemy wants you, and that's where your flesh feels safer, right? I'm in my box, don't touch my box. I feel safe and comfortable here. Well, that's not how God created us, and that's not the function that He has deployed us to walk in every single day. I will see you on the next episode.